Too little, too late

One year ago on this very day, I got attached and for the first time I truly felt loved. A year has passed and though we've broken up, I've never really gotten over it and she's still the only girl that has a special place in my heart.

She didn't initially agree when I first asked her to be my girlfriend as I didn't exactly phrase it in a very direct manner but rather, I was mumbling my way through that conversation on the phone which surprisingly she was able to understand.
For on that day itself, the 6th August 2006, the reply was a 'yes'. It took me some time before realizing that her 'yes' actually meant acceptance of us entering into a relationship and a beginning of a new chapter. It was really the happiest day of my life upon hearing such great news. I couldn't sleep for the next few days, fearing that I'll wake up the next morning to the reality of it being just being a dream!!!

I had tried my best in sub staining this relationship, all the hard works and had given what I could in contributing to the commitment I'd pledged earlier. Maybe from people's point of view, I might not be a perfect boyfriend or anywhere close. It might also be because that she thinks it wasn't enough to make her feel that I truly love her. For what I can say is that I truly love her and I've given my best all in all.
It may be the fact that this was the only serious relationship I'd ever had and thus had little knowledge or understanding on what exactly was a relationship.

Even when we held hands for the first time, I was so shy! And I can assure that we didn't go any further other than holding of hands. But if I were given the chance to do it all over again, I'll really do whatever I can to make her feel special, in letting her know that I really do cherish her and our relationship.

Stepping into a relationship at such a young age results in me not knowing how much the words 'I love you' weighs. Thinking that caring for the person, wanting her to be happy in whichever way possible, wanting to spend time with her, being there for her through the bad times and to share the joy in good times would be the definition of it. And because of underestimating what true love really means caused my relationship to fail.

Our relationship didn't have a fairytale ending, though I was hoping for one.
In fact, I may still harbor hopes of setting things right one day, deep down inside, I know it's quite impossible and would be a miracle if it does. I still love her very much for this past one year as she remains the only girl in my heart.
And so if I'll ever meet someone special again, one who'd be able to ignite the spark and magic I felt on that day, my promise to her would be to make her as happy as I can and really try to be the guy that she can turn to and rely on at any point in time of her life. The power of love really does wonders.

Besides, I'll never know if you ever will see this post and never will I be able to figure out how you really feel about all this and whether all this is really gone. I still love you a lot though you probably wouldn't feel the same way as before. I should say one year ago, you've indeed given me the most memorable moment of my lifetime and that's something I'll always remember. Thank you for the memories, they really did mean a lot to me and i believe it does to you as well.
Though we may never be able to go back to that moment a year ago and set things right, however there's always the unpredictable future, something to look forward to…

Relationships for I would say is a weird phase of life that everyone goes through, the longing for someone, to love and be loved. I doubt that being a teenager, I truly understand the essential meaning behind it. Its fine, for some day we all will.

So sad, how sad, the girl I’ve ever loved has gone away.