On a twisting path

I experienced devastating losses in a short period of time. My initial response to personal tragedy was to deal and solve things in my own way using my own method. But I guess that shouldn't be the way, the one and only way is submission.

Some of us like me are frustrated and fumbling though life because we refuse to read and submit to God's directions, knowing what we ought to do. There are very few Christians, which includes me who can honestly say "I don't know the difference between right and wrong." We all know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. We know what we ought to do or what is missing but for some of us the desire to be in control of our lives and our future has become our master. We do not want to submit.
Being in that situation, I can only say I'm on dangerous ground when continue to ignore God's truth. In fact, I may reach a point where I not only ignore God’s truth but also flat out reject it. If that is the case, then the justice of God says that He will allow me to experience the consequences of my rejection.

I've talked to quite a number of people about this, their suggestion was to recognize that God is the source of all life and is in control over all things, and respond to Him with praise, honor, and complete reverence whenever I'm faced with anything.
Maintain relationship with Him through praying, regular Bible reading, attending worship services, and fellowshipping with fellow church mates. That will be good enough for me to overcome almost anything and that's because He knows my situation better than anyone else does and has the loving power and will to guarantee that in the end it will all work out for the good. And when I confidently rest in the reality that my struggles are in His hands, I can experience peace that passes understanding.

Losses are tough to handle, but thanks be to the God of all comfort who comforts me in all my troubles.

zi lian, gui lian de wo men




=)

500!!!



There are too many sorrows and upsets in the real world. Examples of sad emotions about certain aspects of life such as broken relationships and failure to achieve something you personally desire were the problems I faced.
Having said that, according to some research, results shown one thing evidently common among most teenagers' blogs is that they like me, loves to pen their emotions down or write on how they're feeling once in awhile. Eventually, you'll start to see more poetry and sop stories posted every now and then. You'll feel that in that period of emoness, you'll be more eager and inspirational to compose. As such, friends will come to know of your agony, you can turn to them and I'm sure they will be there for you.
I do have my own worries and coming online is one of the various escapes that cheers me up, makes me smile, makes me laugh, showers me with the bliss that people are enjoying life as it is.

I personally experienced this pitiful state before, indulging myself in it believing that it won't turn out that way, or something that I don't really expect to happen and would wish for.
I mean it's undeniable that you will face troubles and worries once in a while but there is always something positive to take out of any negativity because there really is so much more to life and that I've to look at the brighter and bigger picture to appreciate things.
Laugh at what lies before you and not fret what troubles you as there will always be something bright ahead.

2 days to 500. wahaha. And thanks ervine for sharing with me this lovely song though it's kind of emo. =)

Until I Get Over You

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I'm with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name

The sun won't shine since you went away
Seems like the rain's falling every day
There's just one heart, where there once was two
But that's the way it's gotta be,
till I get over you

Walked through the park, in the evening air|
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can't escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

When will this river of tears stop fallin'
Where can I run so I won't feel alone
Can't walk away when the pain keeps callin'
I've just gotta take it from here on my own
But it's so hard to let go

树, 风, 叶子



树和叶子是不被祝福的
风无情的吹叶子的软弱
已经令自己不想再坚持了

树的激励挽回只是多此一举
叶子不能再留在树的身边了
叶子累了
叶子想随风而去,忘记过去

当叶子离开树的时候
叶子已经失去了生命
叶子再也无法回到任何一棵树上了

可是,树不同
当过了一个季节后
树的身旁又有了新的叶子
是比被风带走的叶子还要好的叶子
那个时候树的心里就不会再思念旧叶子了

叶子只能在某个角落偷偷地
为了想念叶子而落泪

叶子是很爱树的, 依赖树的
当风从树的身旁带走叶子的时候
叶子的心中有千万个不舍
所以请别怪叶子的离开 好吗?
叶子的离开是不得以的

21.07.2008

Basically, what blog does is to help inform friends of what you're currently up to and some of the ups and downs you've been experiencing. It's a good way of keeping in touch where at times you may be too busy to constantly keep in touch with each other, and that's when blog comes in handy.
In all, I believe it's quite an interesting tool to deliver your well-being.

Moving on to 20.07.08. Just a little recap of that day before moving on to other updates. Anyway, it has been awhile since the last entry was posted. One main reason was that I was exceptionally busy, in particular, final year project. Had to rush out a report which I eventually wrote 20,000 words for and a presentation for the program I've created. Super tired now due to lack of sleep, not slept for at least 3 days this week, how bad can it be…

Spend a beautiful Sunday morning in church, had lessons in the morning instead of ushering. Attended second service right after, love the songs we sang! Oh hey, Geraldine’s back… It's been a long time since I last saw her, yea great to do some catch up with her.

A trip down to Vivo City with Geraldine and some of the guys was a last minute decision. The guys were grumbling that they are super hungry, so settled our lunch at Carl's Junior. Ordered a SUPERSTAR meal for myself, the servings they gave were so huge that all of us had a hard time finishing them; even heavy eaters such as Yuhan had problems with it.

We had a little walk round the shopping mall before heading down to Suntec City to meet up with the girls. It was rather a wasted trip, cos not long after we were on our way to church.
Didn’t stay for third service, went home with ernest instead, have to prepare for my final year project presentation on Tuesday, stress seh…

Anyway, guys I'll be free after Tuesday, and that means I'm free for whatever outings, shopping, soccer matches, stayover le… YEA! =)

你的过去我来不及参与, 你的未来我再也不想错过.

Pre-NDP 08 NE Show 2

Yesterday was NE show 2. It was yet another rehearsal day for the participants, nevertheless they treated it very seriously as of the actual day itself and the performance turned out to be a blast. Celebrating in the new stadium at marina bay (the world largest floating stage), the atmosphere was certainly different. I was lucky to be part of the ushering team and had the opportunity to serve the people and manage to catch some parts of the performance while on duty.

As usual, the celebration provided splendid performances and songs. Interesting goodie packs in the start and magnificent fireworks at the end (When I say magnificent is was really world-class!) Laser displays and lightings were something new for this year and it was really well done. The Red Lions again performing their parachuting acts and the SAF displayed some wonderful air show (a new item known as the black knights this year, showcases some tough performance in the air lifted the audience off their seats. The goodie bag contained some tidbits, an electric fan, a hat and some drinks. However, the goodie bag was rather special as you can customize it whether is it in design or size. (Its a paper bag with a strap tied onto it so as to allow audiences to hang it around their shoulder) With all of that said, I must say that none of that is what made my day there the most enjoyable.
The fireworks, laser displays, planes and whatever can all be seen on television. But having been in such close distance with the fireworks and being able to see it live, I felt great. What really makes my day so great and makes the celebration one that is enjoyable? It is...
The ATMOSPHERE

That is right! You cannot feel the atmosphere in front of the television. You cannot feel the atmosphere just by hearing what your friends say. You can only feel it if you are there, participating the event yourself. It was simply heartwarming and great! Looking at the waters make me feel so much more comfortable. Turning to the right showcases the economic status of Singapore. Right in front is some of the construction works. Some say that it destroys the scenery or atmosphere, however, in my opinion it displays the stableness of our nation and how she continues to develop through the years and reaching greater heights. Standing among the tens of thousands of fellow Singaporean ushering makes me feel so much at home. The atmosphere was simply refreshing and grand. It just make you want to shout and show how much you love your country. It makes you feel free and happy. Being with other fellow Singaporeans makes you feel united. Being united creates this nation. The atmosphere simply creates the thought of one people, one nation and thus one Singapore. That is thus the best thing I enjoyed most throughout the whole event. Watching the live telecast in front of the goggle box can never bring such majestic feeling to oneself. The pride, the passion, the love and the happiness can only be completely expressed when you feel such atmosphere at the stadium. And I am contended that my enjoyment expressed its fullest when I felt the atmosphere. People bring joy, and being at a place able to feel and see it with your very own eyes is what I call true enjoyment.

By seeing, feeling and hearing, it creates the atmosphere. The atmosphere then creates feelings, feelings create joy and finally joy creates enjoyment.
I enjoyed the whole event very much, most credit to my team of ushers and of course the audience present whom lifted my spirit up, certainly it matches this year team “Celebrating the Singapore Spirit”.
looking forward to NE show 3, preivew and the actual parade itself.

Wonderful photos taken as it's all uploaded here:

Chin & Me at the funpack collection area


Siewfong, Chin & Me


With the Girls...


RaRa team!! =)

Poly Xperience presenting D3 the NewBorn Dance Group

Finally, our months of hard work paid off today as both dance performance on Thursday and Friday was a success. Many turned up to give their fullest support for the new born dance group D3, many ambassadors among the crowd were my friends, felt so excitied yet tensed. There were secondary schools student too, mostly here for the open house, "poly xpereince" they called it.
Stepping onto the stage got me very nervous, but I kept myself calm, focusing on the dance I'll be presenting later directed me away from that tense feeling I had earlier.
Everything was over in a blink of any eye, and though we committed a few mistakes here and there, overall I think we did a great job. Crowd applauded for that wondeful performance we put up for them was what the dance group wanted the most. Giving credits for our efforts we’d put in in making this possible.
At last, I get to see some smiling faces from our dance team. Great job guys! Thanks Yuting, Josie and Adrian for your guidance too. Haha, Yuting.. the couple moves for this dance already quite hard. I think we gonna die with the moves for "temptation". lol.

D3

Photo taken without Josie and Siti.

The Trial of Faith

Life has a way of driving my faith dangerously close to the edge. I'll ask myself, If God is good, why did this happen? If God is all-powerful, why didn't He stop this? If God really loves me, why am I not happier?
Questions like this quickly dampen my spiritual enthusiasm and threaten to leave my faith stale and stoic. For me, I grin and bear it, and hope that no one ever asks me these questions. I may even come to believe that in order to maintain spiritual sanity, I need to park my brains and questions outside the door and separate the spiritual realm from the realities of life.
But disconnecting through denial falsely assumes that all the answers are found in the world. If I were to believe that this world is a place where comfort, happiness, and peace should be found, I'll never understand why bad things happen.

Thats why being a Christian doesn't mean fewer hassles and hardships. Sometimes it means more. There will be resistance – from family, from coworkers, and, worst, from carnal Christians. But I'm not worrying too much, because I'm putting my faith in Him.

I'm sure many people like me do faced doubt or uncertainty or has been perplexed as to why God did not work in a certain way or may be in the midst of God's working where they like me can't see the big picture. Well, FAITH...

However sometimes, many of us here including me do have the idea that God rewards us for our faith, and it may be so in the initial stages. But the fact is we don't earn anything from faith – it only brings us into a right relationship with God and gives Him His opportunity to work. Yet God frequently has to knock the bottom out of my experience as His saint to get me in direct contact with Himself. God wants me to understand that it is a life of faith, not a life of emotional enjoyment full of light and sweetness. But rather, He Himself withdrew His conscious blessings to teach me to "walk by faith" as I'm worth much more to Him now that the days of conscious delight with my thrilling testimony.

Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried. And the real trial or faith is not to find it difficult to trust God, but that God's character must be proven as trustworthy in each and everyone of our minds. Faith being worked out into reality must experience times of unbroken isolation. Never confuse the trail of faith with the ordinary disciple of life, because a great deal of what we call the trail of faith is the inevitable result of being alive.

Sometimes this happens to me, "I begin to pray, and then I start to doubt," This is the enemy attacking me. I'm sharing this to alleviate guilt if any of you're reading this had ever experienced that. But here’s what to do when that happens: get plugged back into the power source of prayer. That's the Lord. Confess to Him your areas of doubt and ask Him to increase your faith. And He will!
At times, i do sensed a growing distance from the Lord or the need to bring some burden before Him that I've been carrying around myself. The only solution to it is to spent some quiet time with Him alone. In that time, pour out whatever that troubles my heart to Him in faith. If God is speaking to me, I'm sure that will be the moment.