I Believe You



Recently, I'd received an email from one of my choir mate, and have got to know of this book by chance. Realize that it was a good book after reading the forum which many says it was truly a touching story. And so for the last couple of days, I went searching for it throughout the island, every possible bookstore and it every possible way that I could locate the book. Unfortunately, it wasn't available anywhere else. I resort to online store, and in fact in no time I found the distributor. Made my purchase straight away and was delivered to my house last night. Brought to church this morning, to my surprise, everyone asked for that book, wanting to borrow it and read. Oh well, guess it'll be out of loan to at least 5 people after reading it myself tonight.

It has been a long time ever since I'd complete reading a book. This time round I was determined to do that having heard that it was a good and touching story one can read. After reading it, what I felt was true, it literally make me tear though you might see me as more resistant to some stuff where I'm a guy. I can say it's so well written that it has the ability to move people hearts.
The story titled "I Believe You" tells of 2 JC students – Joanna Fung and Jacky Wu where fate has decided to intertwine their lives to bring about hope and love, especially for the self-declared jynx Joanna who believes that she had a curse. It's a journey of self-discovery, learning to trust, appreciating those around you, and many more many more for our 'heroine', which is the beauty of the book - it draws you into Joanna's life and as she go through her self discovery process, we the readers would seems to have discover our own self in the process as well.

A phrase extracted from the book
"I am just like the sun and you the flower. I'll provide sunlight for you to blossom. Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you. But you’ll know that I'm always trying to reach you. Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can't receive my sunlight."

Dreams

Dreams are the images, thoughts and feelings experienced while asleep, particularly strongly associated with rapid eye movement sleep. Oh well, sometimes it just sweeps you and it certainly tells how vividly illusive dreams can be sometimes. It robs you from your beauty sleep and replaces it with images that you've long stopped believing or events that might happen in the near future or something, ideas that are obviously fantastical, yet occurring.

You wouldn't have to think twice to realize that sooner or later, it would all end with you waking up. Prematurely realizing it's a dream takes away the fun of it, as well as makes you feel mortal. Sometimes its just so sweet that you wouldn’t want to wake up from your dream and yet at times too you felt relieve after having a bad dream.

Some people believe that dreams are a sign of things to come… ohwell sometimes I believe in it as well, but not all the time.
It's quite fascinating though. Dreams are so unpredictable and so real, but then again, our dreams probably materialized from what we experience and see everyday though that might not be the case to some of you.

Someone did say dreams are like stars. We will not succeed in touching them with our hands, but by following them, like the seafaring man on the ocean, we may actually reach it.
People also say that dreams do come true, first thing that came to my mind was that song "I never had a dream come true". To think otherwise I certainly hope that it will really happen.

My most recent dream was lovely, waking up feeling different after that. In it, I fell in love with someone, a person I do know, that someone that I'll always dearly love.

A song to sum it up.
If We Hold On Together

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith hope and glory
Hold to the truth
In your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the winds
must learn how to mend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears
All away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come
Home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there
In the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark
We'll feel the light
Warm our hearts
Everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
As high
As souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

Easter Joy



Jesus came to earth,
To show us how to live,
How to put others first,
How to love and how to give.

Then He set about His work,
That God sent Him to do;
He took our punishment on Himself;
He made us clean and new.

He could have saved Himself,
Calling angels from above,
But He chose to pay our price for sin;
He paid it out of love.

Our Lord died on Good Friday,
But the cross did not destroy
His resurrection on Easter morn
That fills our hearts with joy.

Now we know our earthly death,
Like His, is just a rest.
We'll be forever with Him
In heaven, where life is best.

So we live our lives for Jesus,
Think of Him in all we do.
Thank you Savior; Thank you Lord.
Help us love like you!

Happy Easter!

The Choir Chalet

~Prelude~
Am so glad that the choir committee actually came out this idea of having a chalet during this period of our semester break. It was specially arranged for graduating choir mates who will be leaving us at the end of year, a farewell actually.
Received a huge surprise upon reaching, as I could see our chalet wasn't very far from OCH whatever they named it, it was old change hospital. It was certainly not the best place but we were not frightened. We had an enjoyable stay there as my days were never boring.

~Insights of Changi Village~
There were a couple of nights when we went down to Changi Village. Already knew that there will be transsexual around, we were warned to be extra alert and cautious at all times, dark alleys there are quite dangerous as well.
Indeed, we spotted a couple of them along the streets, hiding behind some road signs a group of them waiting to be approached. There were rows of shop houses further down the road, we made our way in and spent the rest of our time wandering around that area. We headed back to the chalet only at the stroke of midnight.

~The Excursion~
On the 2nd night, we were supposed to go down to old change village as they had asked me along earlier, turned down the offer and instead decided to lead another group of 5 as they wanted to cycle to east coast park. That idea was not carried out as we were too exhausted after travelling half the journey.
Some went back to the spooky old change hospital as part of as spooky excursion. Heard from friends who went in, a place filled with booby traps, damaged pipes, shattered glasses and many others lying all around the place. It was dark and silent; one of them even felt the existence in there.

~A Wild day out & bbq~
On the final night, we had a shopping mama game before the bbq which I'm looking forward to. It was fun, everyone was so enthusiastic and participative in playing the game, having to solve riddles and codes in coming out with a list of items. It was fun and enjoyable. At night, we had the BBQ, I was BBQing the food and the food turned out great!

~Resolution~
Time really flies. 3 days had passed as the chalet came to an end. Enjoyed my stay there, besides I had a great time there with all the choir mates and certainly it was something that doesn't come by all the time. After all, what matter most is the love for choir and music.
Choir is a place where I can find peace, comfort and love. After being together for quite sometime, they could tell when I was facing with lots of struggles, especially with my personal stuff. And because of that I tend to be emotional most of the time. Nevertheless, they never failed to shower their concern. All of them would express their concern in one way or another and it really touches me.
Perhaps through this time, we have grown together, bonded with each other and I am so glad to have found another place to call home.

ohwell, feeling rather moody this couple of days. Someone hasn't been replying…

Examination and it's results

Exams are one of the things you'll find it common basically in your school days. They are said to be there so as to test our level of understanding of what you've learned. But hey, to think of it in another manner how often do we actually apply the context that we had learned previously into our lives and especially, in our work? I somehow think that some of the modules taught weren't exactly relevant and might even be considered redundant when it's something that won’t benefit us in any way. The one thing that makes people study so hard is that upon success it gives them the satisfactory of doing well and making them feel that they’d an edge over others in terms of enriched with extra knowledge.

For me, studying is fun. The process of learning, the way it's presented, and in knowing the wonders it could bring would certainly lifting you up, to have the eagerness to find out more, thus it will never be bored or whatsoever.
Ohwell, it doesn't mean having to love studying means you'll do well in exams, and the sad truth is I fall under that category. In my opinion and based on my research, I realized people that does well aren't very well off and sometimes family members might even have difficulties supporting them financially. What I felt was that, they worked very hard for everything, seizing each and every opportunities they can get, hoping that one day they'll have a better living, thus breaking out of that cycle. People with a success story to tell usually have a beginning like that. But they persevered against all odds to get to where they are. I really do admire them.

Got back my results the other day and though it wasn't very fantastic as what I've expected it to be having worked so hard, I thank God for it. After all, it was an average mark that I would gladly accept. So get on with life, and work harder in the upcoming semester with my final year project, hopefully it will be better the next time round.

Too little, too late

One year ago on this very day, I got attached and for the first time I truly felt loved. A year has passed and though we've broken up, I've never really gotten over it and she's still the only girl that has a special place in my heart.

She didn't initially agree when I first asked her to be my girlfriend as I didn't exactly phrase it in a very direct manner but rather, I was mumbling my way through that conversation on the phone which surprisingly she was able to understand.
For on that day itself, the 6th August 2006, the reply was a 'yes'. It took me some time before realizing that her 'yes' actually meant acceptance of us entering into a relationship and a beginning of a new chapter. It was really the happiest day of my life upon hearing such great news. I couldn't sleep for the next few days, fearing that I'll wake up the next morning to the reality of it being just being a dream!!!

I had tried my best in sub staining this relationship, all the hard works and had given what I could in contributing to the commitment I'd pledged earlier. Maybe from people's point of view, I might not be a perfect boyfriend or anywhere close. It might also be because that she thinks it wasn't enough to make her feel that I truly love her. For what I can say is that I truly love her and I've given my best all in all.
It may be the fact that this was the only serious relationship I'd ever had and thus had little knowledge or understanding on what exactly was a relationship.

Even when we held hands for the first time, I was so shy! And I can assure that we didn't go any further other than holding of hands. But if I were given the chance to do it all over again, I'll really do whatever I can to make her feel special, in letting her know that I really do cherish her and our relationship.

Stepping into a relationship at such a young age results in me not knowing how much the words 'I love you' weighs. Thinking that caring for the person, wanting her to be happy in whichever way possible, wanting to spend time with her, being there for her through the bad times and to share the joy in good times would be the definition of it. And because of underestimating what true love really means caused my relationship to fail.

Our relationship didn't have a fairytale ending, though I was hoping for one.
In fact, I may still harbor hopes of setting things right one day, deep down inside, I know it's quite impossible and would be a miracle if it does. I still love her very much for this past one year as she remains the only girl in my heart.
And so if I'll ever meet someone special again, one who'd be able to ignite the spark and magic I felt on that day, my promise to her would be to make her as happy as I can and really try to be the guy that she can turn to and rely on at any point in time of her life. The power of love really does wonders.

Besides, I'll never know if you ever will see this post and never will I be able to figure out how you really feel about all this and whether all this is really gone. I still love you a lot though you probably wouldn't feel the same way as before. I should say one year ago, you've indeed given me the most memorable moment of my lifetime and that's something I'll always remember. Thank you for the memories, they really did mean a lot to me and i believe it does to you as well.
Though we may never be able to go back to that moment a year ago and set things right, however there's always the unpredictable future, something to look forward to…

Relationships for I would say is a weird phase of life that everyone goes through, the longing for someone, to love and be loved. I doubt that being a teenager, I truly understand the essential meaning behind it. Its fine, for some day we all will.

So sad, how sad, the girl I’ve ever loved has gone away.

What A Sunday!

Yeah, captain's ball today was fun… Played alongside darren's friends from another church, but representing QC. They were good in basketball, knew them from a church camp I've attended couple of years back. Felt great as we've a chance to meet up again.
The atmosphere was great. Cheers were heard all over though there were only 2 churches involved in today's friendly. Those not field gave their support as well to those on court, I could feel the team spirit and the motivation among team members certainly boosted our morale and gave us a lift as we dominated the game.
Though the game was pretty one-sided, both teams enjoyed the time of fellowship together. It ended with us winning with a big margin. Made a couple of friends as well, some pretty specials one as well. Photos were taken, will be uploaded, and you can view it at the bottom of the post.

My sis and I then made our way to bea's house for some gathering, though it was said to be captain's ball and bbq. Didn't each much though, having in mind that there's another next week, choir chalet. Played football with a couple of passer-by and a little chat with Elton pretty sums up the night…

Note to Elton: It's a blow that you'd suffered yet another serious injury, this time round it’s pretty bad, so I do hope that you're recover soon and join us in football soon.
Another thing will be, I do understand what you're feeling right now, cos I'd once been through and experienced it, though it might be very heartbreaking for you, don't be dishearten, I'm sure you'll get over it soon. Something important seems to be amiss you would say, possibly that little missing one, try working things out in a different approach, pray for guidance along the way. And be sure that, I'm always here when you need me, so cheer up even though you’re still quite uncertain what lies ahead.
G.L.O.W >> God Lead Our Way.

Team QC & Darren's Friend



Team QC & Team PL

Holidays around the corner!!!

Holiday mood starts to set for what I thought would be a break of the usual schooldays, but instead what has come to be was a even busier holiday homework with events and activities coming up, such as more choir practices in getting ourselves prepared for the may performance, choir chalet, Taman Negara trip from ERS, alumni chapter camp, green fusion camp, helping out in CCA fiesta, etc… Though it wasn't as much as those of the previous term breaks I had, still I'm constantly faced with plenty of pressure to commit myself entirely to each and every listed programs. And I should say it was a tiring yet fun week.

I'll start my post on from Tuesday. ERS called me up and was asked to help in shifting library books, old books that were needed to be replaced was recycled. Initially, thought that we could start work on that day, unfortunately we didn't and as a result felt quite worked up after hearing from them. It sounded as if due to unforeseen circumstances, there were no other choices but to postpone it to Thursday.
With that, we decided to go to town. Eugene was with me, met up with Evan along the way. A little shopping with the two of them from Herrens to Cinneleisure and then to Plaza Singapura as we came across this shop, selling 3 boxers at a discounted rate, unbelievable was that I actually bought it together with them.
Lunch in between at KFC, while having our meal, brought some topics up while chatting, discussion on ERS upcoming events such as Taman Negara trip, green fusion camp, CCA fiesta, etc… Basically, just brainstorming for ideas, those taken into consideration will then be included into the report to be submitted to the school management for approval. I really do hope that I will have the time to participate in those events and hopefully to balance myself as well with the other ccas in hand.

Last night, I had a great evening with my primers friends at causeway point. Specially arranged this dinner to do some catching up with them and was so glad that they are able to make it, people like cai kwan, xue feng, dawn and huiyi, it has been ages since I last saw or even contacted them. Dine at banquet and a little shopping around the mall was basically what we did the whole night. Oh, not forgetting, we did go to the nearby pasar malam. Nothing special there though, just some finer food along the way. It was rather late when we're done with everything, so headed home respectively.

Thursday came, having postponed the shifting of books to today, we seems rather ready to start work. Woke myself extremely early today, having to reach by 9 in the morning, I dragged myself to school. Were involved in some labor duty, same as what I’ve mentioned earlier, helping to clear those old books from the shelves and moving them to the truck to be sent for recycling. There were new books coming in as well. And though we had a strength of twenty, manpower was seriously a factor, there were insufficient and were shorthanded. Were overwhelmed with the amount of workload each individual were assigned and obviously incapable of more. Nevertheless, unity and teamwork aid us in overcoming those impossibilities.
Had our lunch at Westmall with the usual few in the clique, hui min, vicole, Eugene, vikky, ming jie, etc… Felt pretty lazy and restless after a heavy meal at Mos Burger. Rather than walking aimlessly round the mall, we thought of something much more exciting. BOWLING! The plan failed, after hearing from the staff that we have to wait a couple of hours for free slots, when the entire alley was booked by a school. Went over to vicole's house instead, played some card games at the same time discussing on where to go next. After much, we never come to a conclusion. Went over to a nearby kopitiam for some drinks and that was basically what we did. Left them not long after, meet up with ernest and ervine for dinner at jurong entertainment center. Wanted to stay and catch a couple of ice hockey games at the ice skating arena which we never did, choose to watch my beloved man utd live instead.

Match kicking off soon, guess I have to end here.

What's so special about blogs?

Blogging!! What's so special about it to have people visiting your site, reading your entries and commenting about you?
Oh well, everyone wants and needs attention in their lives, sometimes by having just a face-to-face communication may be hard to convey the message across. That's why people use blog as a passage to given an insight of what they truly think and feel.
In my case, blog is my avenue of expression and thoughts that were going through my mind, could also be entries on recent events attended. More importantly, it reflects the person you truly are and not the "me" you perceived to be based on impression and looks.

One thing evidently common among most people's blog is "expressing their sad emotions" about certain aspects of life like for example, failed relationship with the one they loved or having failed to achieve something, etc...
Yes, you see them writing sop stories or even poetries sometimes, though it doesn't help in the situation much but at least after writing those emotions down, you're feel better. It's the same as when one feels sad over a particular issue, they either cry it out bitterly or vent their anger out on other things. What I feel would be the best solution is to blog them down, at least people do come to you after reading them, willing to help you in your difficulties, wouldn't that be better?

Everyone has their own worries and coming online is one of our various escapes that makes us smile, makes us laugh and make us shower with the bliss that people are enjoying life as it is. It's undeniable that people do face troubles and worries once in awhile but there’s always something positive to take out of any negativity. Be happy at what lies online and not fret what troubles us as there will always be something bright ahead.

At The Crossroad Once Again

I'm at the crossroads of life itself. That’s the reason why I need my space; I'm still cogitating and looking for the purpose of my existence. I need to expunge all the sorrows that’s confounding and tormenting me.
I need to be positive and fight the nemesis and obstacles obstructing my path. Need to vanquish and conquer thy weaknesses. It's easier said than done. But sigh, life's so dramatic... oh well I've to make the choice not to toil in my misery but make the best of what I have and can do. And maybe, just maybe a little prayer helps.

A Simple Prayer.
Dear God,

I thank you for myself, that I'm Your child, that You have created me in Your own image that I belongs to You, that no matter in what circumstances You are with me because You say in Your word that You will never forsake Your child no matter what. That whenever I call upon You, You listen and not a time You have forsaken me. God I pray that You guide me through every thought, that I will surrender every thought I have to You. That You be so real to me in this period of time that I will experience You once again. God would You awaken my spirit man once again, that my passion for You will not die off but will continue to grow even deeper. That I'll believe that Your timing is perfect, that my life belongs to You. God have Your way in my life; let Your will be done in my life. That step by step I will allow You to reign in every area of my life. God, at Your own timing would You reveal to me bit by bit of what you have in stored for your precious child. God, would You unblock my spiritual ears and open my spiritual eyes so that I can hear from You and see what You are doing in my life. God, I commit myself into Your hands, that You will take care of my every needs and that I will trust You like never before. Thank You God! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!