Month of February to the Month of March

23rd February 2008, just a little recap of school life this past few months. Hey it's only been an absence of like couple of weeks in my old blog! I'm not like dead just because I've not posted any new entries, just have been exceptionally busy. So much had happened and things have been flooding my mind that I wanted to pen in all down in my blog. As much as I wanted to though, I've not had much time to actually post them all. For now, holiday has come, and definitely it will be a rest period for me, not exactly slack throughout but instead getting myself a job and as well as preparations for the upcoming final year project.

But on a personal note, despite being extremely busy at present moment, I'm really happy , something which I've not felt for quite awhile, genuine peace and joy. It was as though I'd found a specific direction and focus in my life now.

February is supposed to be the month of love, which Chinese New Year and Valentines falls on. But 2008 seems to be the emo month of Feb with all the mishaps and complications. I think some monster kidnapped Cupid together with his Love Arrows and instead, have been going about spreading the animosity all around. Looking back at last year Feb, I felt it was much sweeter back then, realizing also that things had changed so dramatically.

I recalled once I had this relationship, was force to end it due to not being able to fulfill the commitment we had pledged earlier. And to put it bluntly, there's just been that invisible wall there ever since. Feelings still quite unsettled yet, and what I do hope is that time will heal them all. But I guess, even though we don’t talk to each other anymore, it was pretty cool seeing her in church every Sunday.

Relationship isn't that simple after all. You know it's so saddening when you see friends struggling with them as well as the pain they are going through right now and there's nothing you can do to help them, except to be there for them when they need you although that doesn’t work all the time. I do understand their feelings right now, and the time they had been through all this while cos having experienced it yourself, you'll be able to read the situation better.

Love is complex. It's a feeling and emotion that only you can feel deep inside. No matter how hard anyone else try to comfort and console or even counsel you(even if it makes sense when you think back one day), nothing gets into your head, just feeling lost and hopeless in that period of time.
But I wouldn't put love in such a negative light, cos when you're in it, it is such a surreal feeling, except that it's really happening. You'll feel really happy and nothing else in the world would seem to matter, as that special someone already is the world to you. Like I said, love can never be expressed the way it truly is, by words or thoughts… It's a (special) feeling from within.

I mean, it sounds really cliché, but if you're a normal human being with an emotion, and you’ve been through a relationship, you’ll know what its like. What I reckon the most important is, being "rationale" in this sort of situation, in a way that you think with your heart, and not with your head to "do the thing I think would be right". Don't end up losing something you feel strongly about just to play Mr/Miss Righteous. Fight for what you want and don't ever let go of it.
Besides, I can basically summarize my life in a few categories. Life (in general, my thoughts, feelings, aspirations, etc), love, family, friends, future ambitions and endeavors, education, music and sports.
Categories I've just mentioned may be fulfilled in this coming month of March and will be the definitive month for the rest of my life. It is the month where things will happen, changes will be made, will be taking the first step into the world of uncertainty and just go forth to where I really want to be.

Everything is too profound and in the dark (well I have to keep it that way) at present moment. Changes may be shocking, even I am anticipating in anxiety, fear, hope, and every descriptive emotion word that exists in the dictionary.

Looking forward to the month of March, coming my way soon…